The Wrong Way To Talk It Out

Talking it out and letting it go can be one of the least compassionate ways to solve a problem when it allows the person causing the problem to continually hurt and blame someone.

A Christian heart can sense the cold hole the mistreated person is left in by the aloof role of the mediator and the assertiveness of the aggressor.

Christians,

A modern alternative to traditional consequences in various spheres of life from work to school and also at home is the idea of talking it out and letting it go.  First, it must be said that trying to talk out a problem with someone is actually one of the most important types of talks a person can have, but the modern version of it that leaves out the possible need for consequences is a gross manipulation of it.  In many cases, the problem that calls for the talk results in one meeting after another because the person causing the problem knows they can continue to mistreat the other person without any consequence besides the meeting itself.

Also, as is common in abusive situations, the person exerting control knows how to make the other person look like they are the one at fault.  In other words, the meeting becomes a time for the person causing the problem to blame the other person for all the problems that are happening.  The person who has been mistreated leaves the meeting feeling blamed for the mistreatment they have received.   The mediator usually isn’t much of a help to the person who has been wronged either because their role is usually focused on letting each person speak without looking for who might really be hurting the other.

If you have ever seen how one of these meetings can unfold, it can be chilling.  A Christian heart can sense the cold hole the mistreated person is left in by the aloof role of the mediator and the assertiveness of the aggressor.  This is all in the supposed name of avoiding consequences and promoting compassion, which makes it all the more unsettling.