Whether They Know Or Not
Does it matter if someone says something mean about a friend, either online or in-person, if that friend won't find out it was them?
Isn't it still cruel and doesn't it still reflect a problem with that person's way of seeing the value of other people?
If someone tells an acquaintance something mean about a friend, but they don’t think their friend will find out who said it, does it really matter? Absolutely, and the reasons why are key to both a clear sense of Christian teachings and a healthy public. If a person is comfortable hurting someone just because they don’t think that person will be able to trace their comment or action back to them, that speaks to a problem with their heart.
A person who bases what they say or do mainly on how it will affect them acts in a genuinely self-centered way, one that doesn’t recognize the inherent value of the lives of others. People who think and act this way only care when there are negative repercussions for them. This way of thinking and acting goes against Christian teachings about loving other people and it is not healthy for the rest of the public either because it runs contrary to the public good.
Now, is it okay to say something harmful about a friend to someone else, even if that friend will neither find out who said it nor hear what was said at all? It still isn’t okay because it is wrong either way. Isn't it still cruel and doesn't it still reflect a problem with that person's way of seeing the value of other people?