The Pain Caused To Others By Superficial Relationships

The pain and loneliness of one person accurately describes what a superficial relationship between others often entails.

The teacher asks if anyone would like to be the new girl’s partner for the assignment because everyone else was working with at least one to two others.

Christians,

Looking at the loneliness and pain of one individual is a clear and accurate way to view what the superficial relationship of other individuals often entails.  Imagine a father volunteers to help out in his daughter’s 6th grade class.  There is also a new girl in class who has no one to talk to and she even looks like she wants to cry, but she is trying not to by focusing on her work.  The teacher asks if anyone would like to be the new girl’s partner for their assignment because everyone else was working with at least one to two others.  This is when the volunteer asks his own daughter if she would like to be the girl’s partner.

His daughter just says, “No, I don’t feel like it.”  The new girl looks up, noticing no one volunteered and feels a stronger wave of discomfort and sadness come over her as she continues trying to focus on her work.  “I understand,” says her father.  “I know you’re such a caring girl and that you just don’t feel like it right now,” he says warmly.  “Thanks,” she replies with a big smile as she looks over the new girl sitting alone by the window. 

Now, the father certainly shouldn’t have said he no longer loves his daughter, but it is clear that this was not the right time to praise her for being so caring.  Also, he was probably aware that trying to get his daughter to understand how the other girl was likely feeling and prompting her one more time to sit with her might have made her angry.  In other words, the father was more interested in a superficially happy and supportive relationship with his daughter than trying to help her see the struggles other people experience in life, which would come to leave the girl sitting by the window alone day after day.