Interpreting What People Say

Imagine you tell your mother about a young woman who was mistreated by her boyfriend after she accidentally spilled a drink in his car.

Your mother responds by saying, “I want to kill to that guy.”

Christians,

In trying to understand what people mean by what they say, it is important to think about the possible difference between what their words mean and what they might actually mean based on factors like the situation and what you know about the person you're talking to.  For example, imagine you are a teenager telling your mother about an incident you heard about between people you know; a guy slapped his girlfriend in the face for accidentally spilling her drink in his car.  Your mother responds by saying, “I want to kill to that guy.”

Now, do you think your mother is literally planning on killing that guy?  Based on what you know about her, the chance of that happening is about 0%.  Also, based on the fact that you know she is genuinely caring, she likely said this because she was so upset about how the young woman was treated.  Another factor to keep in mind is that people can intentionally exaggerate what they’re saying as a technique to empahsize a point.  She likely exaggerated what she wanted to do to that guy to emphasize how upset she was about the young woman getting slapped in the face. 

You also tell someone else about this incident—it’s a friend at work.  He gives an unmemorable response.  Also, he didn’t seem to care at all.  Later looking back at the two responses, you remember that one of the two people you talked to said something about murder.  However, what were they really saying?